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| I managed to rise from the fog of a moderate depression recently.
It's interesting to me how there is no clear boundary between depression and normalcy. I don't realize I'm depressed until I'm in the middle of it and wonder how the hell I got there. Same thing with feeling not depressed-- one day, I just feel better.
One thing that seems to have helped a lot is that I've been practicing consistent meditation lately and have stayed away from the dizzying tornado of self-help books stacked on my nightstand. Sometimes, I find it is so important to connect with the simplicity of life instead of filling my head with theory. My meditation sessions have been beautifully simple lately-- all I do is connect with the feeling of love or peace within me. It has helped me to become so much more aware of my energy, and I am able to identify when something is draining me or making me feel negative. I can protect my energy so that I don't allow it to get drained from me.
I went to church yesterday for the first time in a while. My husband took the day off from volunteering at the Marine Mammal Center and accompanied me. There is nothing like a beautiful Sunday morning at church holding hands with my husband and swaying happily to the music. I knew I was emitting some happy, inviting energy yesterday, and it became extra evident when literally everyone I know at church approached me just to say hi and chat. On my depressed days, no one approaches me and I quietly walk back to my car right after service is out. It's so amazing and intriguing to see how energy subconsciously affects the behaviors of people. I've been having a lot of fun with it.
It looks like my career is moving in the direction of my dreams-- life coaching. I've always wanted to find a job that enables me to empower people and help them in creating the life they truly want, finding more satisfaction in their daily lives. Life coaching is so perfect. I've been working on marketing materials and just talked to my friend about setting up an LLC. I also have a friend helping me on my web page, and my husband is using his graphic designer background to help me design all the materials. I can really feel the universe supporting me on this one, and I feel open to all of the wonderful possibilities waiting to become a part of my reality. Life is fabulous. I'm realizing there is no time to be depressed!
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| "With all these facts confronting us, we should learn to trust life. There is no power in the universe which wishes anyone ill. Life is good and God is Good. Why not accept this and begin to live? No man need prepare to meet his God, he is meeting Him every day and each hour in the day. He meets Him in the rising sun, in the flowing stream, in the budding rose, in the joy of friendship and love, and in the silence of his own soul." -Dr. Ernest Holmes, The Science of Mind
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| One by one,
I encountered the stones
That blocked the entrance
To the Light of Truth
Within me.
One by one,
The stones appeared
As past experiences
Disguised in new and
Different forms.
One by one,
I was stunned to see
That the stones of resentment,
Of condemnation, judgment,
Were held so closely to me.
One by one,
As I moved the stones aside,
Glimmers of eternal Light
Released themselves
In a dance of freedom.
In one blinking instant,
His perfect peace
Shone ever so brilliantly
That stones would never
Have a reality there again.
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| It took me a long time to figure out the importance of consistent meditation. There is a certain "momentum of spirituality" that began to develop as my meditation practice became more consistent. For one, I feel a lot more in tune with my intuition, which has been really cool. I can recognize or "hear" my intuition a lot more easily, and this been helping me have confidence in so many different areas of my life, including career, relationships, friendships, family, etc. Another development has been a noticeably increased sense of inner peace and connectivity with others. This is a really crucial one for me because I have suffered from anxiety a lot in the past. At the height of my anxiety, it became really difficult and awkward to interact with people. So to be able to feel this inner connection with those I come into contact with is really valuable. Also, my sense of connection with the Divine has become stronger. I am able to live in a place of joy more consistently and can recognize much more quickly when my thoughts are heading in a negative direction. I can also reverse them much more easily and stay in control over my energy.
It took a lot of experimenting with different techniques before I found what worked for me. I personally enjoy the daily workbook lessons in "A Course in Miracles" and have been meditating on a thought for the day from the workbook for the past one hundred or so days. The lessons are relatively simple one-liners that have an uncanny tendency to speak to my soul and help me to awaken to the truth of God. Some examples of the daily lessons are "God's Will for me is perfect happiness," "Light and joy and peace abide in me," and "God, being Love, is also happiness." As I progress through the lessons, I have noticed that the lessons are becoming a part of my life and my way of thinking, in essence, unraveling my past false beliefs that pain and suffering can somehow lead to redemption. I have learned that, when given the choice between feeling suffering and feeling happiness, I must always choose happiness because it is the path to knowing the true nature of God.
I also enjoy starting my morning off with listening to a spiritual song. Charles Holt's "River God" has been one of my favorites, and I also love "Amazing Grace." It's a great way to get centered and prepared for the rest of the day.
Anyway, I thought I'd share my experiences with meditation with you and how it has become the most important spiritual practice in my life right now.
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| When the character of a dream
Suddenly realizes
That she was created by the
Imagination of a Being
Much greater than she,
She awakens, and the forms
She took so seriously
Do not matter anymore.
Instead, her curiosity turns
To the Dreamer,
The most brilliant,
Mysterious Being,
Who dreamed up such a
Rich melodrama of beauty.
And then He becomes known to her
And she realizes that she is
A part of Him. She has an
Existence outside of the dream
As part of a unified presence called
God. She rejoices and becomes
Elated, prepared to share her
Newfound discovery with the
World... so that they may
Awaken as well.
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True